• Jessica Soza

An Actors Guide to Chaos

I’m always trying to find peace amongst chaos. Whether I am in physical chaos within my circumstances; emotional chaos where I can't seem to stop crying or find joy, or mental chaos where I can't seem to find peace and my thoughts are swirling with a hundred different scenarios. Chaos is constant. We either accept it or partner with it. An actors guide to chaos is my attempt at helping actors have tools in guiding their spiritual, mental and emotional states through the chaos of life. We all are managing the physical chaos around us, and as emotional and mental intelligence becomes more popular we are all becoming a bit more self-aware of how to manage ourselves.

I’ve found acknowledging what feels true in the moment, or whatever my honest state of being is, guides me through the chaos. I become present and feel peace again. A lot of the time I think we are trying to manage, control or shift the atmosphere around us, rather than just allowing ourselves to be in the thing we are in. If I acknowledge the present moment and my present state of being no matter how chaotic it feels or may seem to be, then I can find peace. It’s as if peace is only available when I acknowledge I don't have it. If I realize I don't feel ok, I don’t feel what I think I should feel, and I attempt to make myself feel things instead of embracing the current feeling I actually have. Exhausting! What I need is help guiding myself through the chaos rather than avoiding it, or convincing myself otherwise.

Human beings, not just actors, are always trying to navigate through some kind of chaos. Actors seem to recognize the chaos a little more because we are forced to allow ourselves to feel things deeply in imaginary circumstances than I think someone in a 9 to 5 job might not have to deal with. As an actor I've always felt a little misunderstood. I feel things on a large scale. I explain things a bit more dramatically or expressively, because I feel reenacting what I felt in the situation invites you into the experience I had. Plus I don't know any other way to explain how an event happened without feeling it all over again when I share the story to you. Guiding my life through chaos has been more of my journey than arriving to the thing I'm desiring to get to.

I'm writing to my younger self. These are the things I wish someone would have told me when I decided to pursue acting. What do you really have to deal with if you're going to become an actor? And I mean the things they don't tell you in an acting class, but expect you to figure out somewhere else. What you actually learn and experience on the job. How do we navigate the chaos of life while doing the thing we love, without ruining our personal lives and the lives of loved ones? An actors guide to chaos is the advice I wish someone had given me. In my next few posts I will breakdown the chaos I have experienced as an actor in four different ways; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I'll explain how I got through it, why technique is useful and what being an actor has been about for me. Hope you'll keep reading. Thanks for making it to the end of this one. #anactorsguidetochaos #anactorslifeforme #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth #chaos